The Widow's Little Secret. Judith Stacy

forget,” she said, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. “I need to forget.”

      Jared froze as she gazed up at him. The look on her face sent a warm tremor through him.

      “Make me forget,” she whispered.

      Mattie came fully against him and rose on her toes, pressing her lips to his throat. “Please…make me forget.”

      “Now, just a minute.” Jared caught her arms and tried to ease her away. “You’re not thinking clear.”

      “I don’t want to think clear. I don’t want to think at all,” she said, and slid her palm across his chest.

      He backed up, but she moved with him. “You don’t mean that.”

      She meant it. With all her heart and soul she meant it. She ached deep inside. She wanted it to go away. She wanted to feel something different.

      And who better to do that with than this stranger, who’d be gone in the morning?

      Mattie circled her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. He pulled away.

      “We were married for nearly a year, but he hadn’t touched me in months—months!” she said. “Please, I can’t lie alone in that bed tonight. I just can’t.”

      Jared hesitated, studying her in the dim light.

      “You can do it, can’t you?” she asked. “You can make me forget?”

      “Damn right I can,” he said. “But that’s not the point.”

      “What’s wrong with it?” she asked. “I’m not a married woman…not anymore.”

      “I know, but—”

      “I want this,” she whispered. “Don’t make me plead with you.”

      “But…”

      Mattie stepped away and held out her hand to him. “Please, just make me forget.”

      He didn’t move, not for a long minute. Then, finally, Jared reached for her hand.

      Chapter Two

      Morning sunlight filtered through the window, illuminating what had to be the dressing table of the widow Mattie Ingram.

      Jared, his eyes just opened, studied it as he lay curled on his side at the edge of the soft feather bed. Lace, doilies, fancy bottles, all belonging to the woman who at this very moment slept behind him…

      He relaxed against the pillow, his body spent but humming with the contentment only a night with a woman can bring.

      Make her forget, she’d said. He’d obliged her numerous times during the night, the last just before dawn. Now, still, he wanted to take her in his arms, do it all again—which didn’t make Jared feel particularly proud of himself.

      Last night had been different. Standing in the kitchen, Mattie had looked alone and vulnerable. She’d needed somebody—him.

      Jared had thought he could just hold her in his arms and comfort her, and she’d fall asleep. Once in her bedroom, though, Mattie had made it clear that wasn’t what she wanted from him.

      True, he could have told her, flat out, “No.” But she was already feeling bad enough. Spurning her seemed cruel, making her beg intolerable.

      Still, he’d tried to convince her otherwise, but she would have no part of it. Del might not have touched her in months, but Mattie knew what she was doing, and Jared had been on the trail too long to resist her considerable charms.

      So he’d accommodated her. Given the widow what she’d asked for at her most vulnerable moment.

      Why did that leave his gut churning this morning?

      Jared didn’t rise from the bed, though he thought he should. Instead, he lay still, recalling the last time he’d awakened in bed with a respectable woman. His thoughts swept back, and when the memory came he played it over in his mind a few times, something he’d forbidden himself to do in years past. Surprisingly enough, it didn’t hurt so bad. Not now, not this morning.

      Not with Mattie in the bed behind him.

      In that instant, it all seemed surreal. Jared didn’t move, didn’t stir on the mattress, didn’t roll over to curl against her. If he did, would it all shatter? Would last night and this moment prove to be a dream? The dream that had crept into his sleep so often lately?

      He remained where he was for a while longer, on the linens that smelled like Mattie, gazing at as much of her room as he could see—the lace, the figurines, the pictures on the walls. Their clothes scattered across the floor.

      No, it hadn’t been a dream, he decided. None of it. Jared rolled over, anxious to have her in his arms again.

      But the sheets were cold and the bed was empty.

      Mattie was gone.

      A dozen things needed doing—no, a hundred things.

      Mattie darted to the cupboard in the kitchen of the restaurant she owned on Main Street and pulled down a serving platter. The room was silent except for the crackling fire she’d just laid in the cookstove, struggling now to take the morning chill out of the air.

      No one else was in the restaurant—not Mrs. Nance, who did the cooking, or the Spencer girls, who served the guests, or Billy, who washed the dishes. None of them had probably even considered that Mattie would open for business today.

      She gripped the platter tightly. None of them knew how desperately she needed to open the restaurant today.

      And no one would ever know.

      Another wave of humiliation washed over Mattie, bearing down on her painfully, bringing the memory of her husband into her mind. How could she have been so stupid?

      When Del Ingram had arrived in Stanford a year ago, he’d taken one look at her and sworn he’d fallen desperately in love. And Mattie had believed him. He’d been so convincing, how could she not? He’d been kind and thoughtful. He’d brought her gifts, praised her every move. He’d been mannerly, well dressed, wise and worldly. He seemed like a godsend.

      Mattie had been lonely since both her parents had died the year before Del’s arrival. She’d stayed in the house they built and taken over the restaurant they started, and she’d done well for herself. In fact, the restaurant had improved considerably under her ownership.

      It helped that her mother was no longer around to do the cooking. Mama, bless her heart, wasn’t the best of cooks. Mattie had hired Mrs. Nance and business really picked up.

      With pride, Mattie gazed around the kitchen, through the door to the dining room. She’d made other changes as well. Blue checkered linens on the tables, vases with fresh flowers from Mrs. Donovan’s garden. She improved the menu to offer heartier meals.

      As a result, the restaurant looked so inviting and the food tasted so delicious diners appeared often and regularly, including the mayor and the reverend with their wives and children, out-of-town guests and dignitaries. The town’s businessmen had made the Cottonwood Café their spot for breakfast almost every morning. She sent a wagon over to the train depot to bring in diners during their layover. Almost no one commented on the modest price increase she’d made.

      All of her changes had paid off handsomely. Everything was going wonderfully. And still seemed to be when Del arrived in town.

      Mattie sighed in the empty kitchen remembering how lonely she’d been back then. Even with the restaurant keeping her busy day and night, she’d led a solitary life.

      She’d longed for family, wished for her house to come alive with voices and laughter as it had when her parents were alive. She’d caught herself watching enviously as women in town strolled the streets with new babies in their arms. After all, she