A Sister’s Courage. Molly Green

Five

       May 1939

      Raine felt as though she was leading a double life. It shouldn’t have to be like this, deceiving her mother. She was especially happy when it was her ‘flying day’. But even when it wasn’t and the work was monotonous, she was still blissfully content in her surroundings. It was only when she went home that she felt she didn’t really belong. She only had to walk up the path and a feeling of gloom would sweep over her. But today was different. Today, she could barely contain her excitement.

      She knocked on the door, wishing for the dozenth time that her parents would give her a key. For goodness’ sake, I’ll be eighteen next month, she thought. But her mother wouldn’t budge. Maybe when she heard her news, Maman would finally regard her as an adult instead of a wayward child. Raine gave a rueful smile. She might not be twenty-one yet to legally acquire ‘the key of the door’, but surely her mother couldn’t refuse her now.

      ‘I’ve got something to tell you all,’ Raine said as she glanced round the table at her parents and sisters. She took another bite of her meat pie and looked up to see she had their attention. ‘I hope you’ll be pleased for me, though I haven’t mentioned anything about it before. I didn’t want to until it was definite.’

      ‘At last! You’ve met a nice young man.’ Her mother’s face was wreathed in smiles, her voice breathy with excitement. ‘When are you going to bring him home? We can’t wait to meet him, can we, Robert?’

      ‘Why don’t you give Raine a chance to answer?’ her husband said, sending his wife his usual tender look.

      ‘It’s nothing like that,’ Raine cut in before the conversation took a worse turn. She summoned a wide smile towards her parents and sisters. ‘I went solo today.’

      There was a sudden hush. Raine stole a glance at her mother whose fork was frozen in mid-air.

      ‘What are you talking about?’ her mother said, narrowing her eyes as she put down her fork, the small piece of meat still attached to the prongs.

      ‘I went up in a Tiger Moth on my own today.’

      ‘A what?’ Her mother frowned.

      ‘It’s an aeroplane.’ Raine glanced at her mother whose face was working as though she was trying to control herself.

      ‘How dare you! You’ve been taking flying lessons without my knowledge.’ Maman’s voice was steel.

      ‘I dared because I knew you wouldn’t approve.’

      ‘You were perfectly correct.’ Her mother laid down her knife. ‘How can you afford lessons with the pittance you earn in that office of yours – as a clerk?’ She raised her eyes to the ceiling. ‘Lorraine, who has her head in the clouds.’ She swung back to Raine. ‘Could you really not do something better with your School Certificate, Lorraine? I’m ashamed when people ask me what you are doing now you have left school. That you are a clerk in an office, wasting a fine education.’

      ‘The work is actually very interesting,’ Raine returned with as cool a smile as she could muster, her thrill at having gone solo still overriding any pettiness from her mother. ‘Especially as the office happens to be at Biggin Hill aerodrome.’

      Her mother’s face paled. ‘I did not know that.’

      ‘Simone,’ her father interrupted, ‘let’s be happy for her. It’s what she’s always wanted to do. And she must be good if her instructor has let her go solo today.’

      ‘You seem to know much about this, Robert.’ Simone flashed him an accusing glare. ‘You knew all the time. Both of you ’ave betrayed me.’ She gave a sob. ‘My own ’usband and daughter.’

      ‘It’s hardly a betrayal, Maman,’ Raine said. ‘And you never once asked me what I was doing in my job – you weren’t interested, so I didn’t have to tell you any lies. And I can tell you it’s the best feeling in the world to have – what you call – my head in the clouds.’

      Ronnie giggled.

      ‘Véronique.’ Simone swung round to Ronnie. ‘I am not amused.’

      ‘Doesn’t Lorraine remind you of someone, darling?’ her father said. ‘If you make up your mind to do something, you always do it. So you can’t be surprised that your eldest daughter has taken after you in that way.’

      If it hadn’t been so serious, Raine would have laughed.

      Her mother rounded on her father. ‘I am surprised that you encourage her, Robert,’ she said, her mouth thinning in anger. ‘And even more that you did not tell me what my own daughter was up to.’

      ‘You would only have worried, darling,’ he said soothingly.

      It’s not the whole reason, Raine longed to say to her father, but she knew it was useless. Her father would always adore his wife and continue to make excuses for her. Raine sighed.

      He turned to her. ‘Well done, Raine. I know you always wanted to be a pilot so I’m happy … we’re all happy for you,’ he added firmly. ‘And to prove it, I’m going to open a bottle of champagne so we can make a toast. It’s the last one but I think the occasion deserves it.’

      ‘I’m not qualified yet, or anything.’

      ‘No matter. I won’t be a minute.’

      Her father had always kept a few bottles of champagne on one of the slate shelves in the cool of the pantry at the old house – just in case. ‘I like to be ready for any surprise celebration,’ he’d say with a twinkle. Raine’s heart warmed. It was typical of him to bring out his last bottle for her.

      ‘It’s wonderful news, Raine.’ Suzanne rose from the table and gave her a hug.

      ‘You are clever,’ Ronnie said, eyes wide with delight. ‘Isn’t she, Maman?’

      Raine looked her mother straight in the eye. Maman was leaning back in her chair as though she could no longer support herself. But in her eyes was an expression that made Raine recoil. She could only decipher it as a spark of envy.

      ‘Here we are.’ Her father came back into the room with the champagne. ‘We’ll have the best glasses, darling,’ he said to her mother.

      ‘I’ll get them.’ Suzanne jumped up – probably so she didn’t get drawn into the argument, Raine guessed. She watched as her mother took in a deep breath, her chest rising.

       Here we go.

      ‘Lorraine, I have been thinking. Écoute. You remember Mrs Garland who is the proprietor of the beautiful dress shop in the arcade in Bromley? She said she would like to talk to you about working there. I told her you will soon be in your father’s firm, but she said, “Lorraine’s so tall and slim and so very attractive – just the right figure to be a model. She could earn more money than doing sums all day.”’ Her mother gave a tinkly laugh. ‘She said she would be ’appy to train you.’ She looked at Lorraine as though seeing her for the first time and nodded approvingly. ‘She is right, Lorraine, and I want you to think very serious … seriously about it. And do not concern yourself with your father’s wishes. I will persuade him.’ Then immediately her expression hardened. ‘Until then, I will hear no more about flying. You will not continue the lessons.’

      ‘I don’t think you quite understand, Maman. I’m not interested in selling dresses to dippy girls and vain women. I flew solo today. When I have enough flying hours I can take my test. Become a qualified pilot.’ She rounded on her mother. ‘Maman, can’t you understand that flying means the world to me. It’s the only thing I want to do with my life.’

      Her mother’s eyes bored into her. ‘We will see about that.’

      Raine realised it was not a bit of good getting on the wrong side of their mother.