A Smart Girl's Guide: Boys (Revised). Nancy Holyoke

solving problems problem boyfriends Quiz: problem girlfriends Quiz: time to break up? how to break up getting dumped

       taking care of you

      Quiz: how are you doing? happy ever after?

      brave

      new world

      crushes

      I am crush crazy about this boy. He’s cute and he’s funny.

      He has red hair and he wears baggy shorts. He is very cute.

      He’s COOL. And he knows a lot of stuff. He’s so cute.

      Mad about him

      Lots of kids—boys and girls alike—have crushes from the time they go

      off to preschool. But as you reach puberty, those crushes may get bigger.

      Tiny crushes, which in first grade took up a corner of your brain, can become

      huge, humongous, gigantic

      crushes that make you look out the window for hours instead of studying

      for your math test.

      You might have a crush on a rock star. You might have a crush on a teacher

      or your cousin or your friend’s big brother. You might have a crush on a boy

      at school who doesn’t even know your name.

      These kinds of crushes can make you feel wonderful because . . .

      you have excited,

      happy feelings,

      you have wonderful

      daydreams,

      you can feel romantic about

      someone without the risk

      that that person might hurt

      your feelings (it’s safe),

      and you will never have

      to face the fact that your

       crush is not perfect.

      Crushes are also a natural part of growing up. A crush lets you try on all

      kinds of new feelings, sort of like going into a store and trying on all kinds

      of clothes without having to buy them. You can learn a lot. You experience

      romantic feelings. You consider what you like in other people. You learn how

      to deal with frustration when you can’t get what you want. All of this helps

      you get ready for the day when you get into a real relationship with someone.

      Of course, you may also develop a crush on a boy you actually know. Kids

      around you may be getting crushes, too. Some may even be speaking up

      and saying so. This can make life at school very different.

      a typical day

      Suddenly kids are talking about who likes whom. School is a more

      gossipy, less private place. There’s more intrigue—and more

      nervousness, too.

      8:45 a.m.

      Lindsey tells Caitlin she likes Brett.

      10:05 a.m.

      Caitlin tells Brett that Lindsey likes him. Brett says, “Uh, er, well,

      Lindsey’s OK.”

      10:36 a.m.

      Maria writes her favorite pop star’s name on her notebook cover

      for the 348th time.

      11:05 a.m.

      Caitlin tells ten of her closest friends (including Lindsey) that

      Lindsey and Brett are now going together.

      11:47 a.m.

      Joaquin sits near Ashley at lunch. What does it mean? Ashley

      has no idea.

      11:50 a.m.

      Lindsey says hi to Brett in the cafeteria. Brett says hi back.

      They both sit with their friends.

      12:01 p.m.

      Max and Megan ignore each other when they dump their trays.

      They are neighbors and good friends, but they never let on at

      school because they’d be teased.

      1:30–1:45 p.m.

      Lindsey writes a note to Brett and folds it up till it’s the size of

      a wad of chewing gum. She gives it to Caitlin to deliver.

      2:10 p.m.

      Angela and Jing and Clementine have a good time in gym

      getting teased by David and DeShay and Reese.

      3:00–3:30 p.m.

      Caitlin gives Lindsey’s note to Brett. She thinks

      he looks cute when he’s embarrassed. On the

      bus, Caitlin makes a list of all the boys she’s

      gone with this year. It looks like this:

      1. Brett (2 weeks)

      2. Khalid (1 week)

      3. Joaquin (2 days)

      4. David (3½ hours)

      5. Maggie’s older brother, Jonathan

       (in her dreams)

      There were others first semester, but she

      lost count. She thinks maybe she’d like to

      go with Brett again after he and Lindsey

      break up. She figures her friend and her

      new crush will last about 2 weeks.

      Maybe 1.

      hormones

      What’s caused all this drama? For one thing: hormones.

      Hormones are chemicals in the body. During puberty, a girl’s hormones help

      her body develop into a woman’s body, and a boy’s hormones help his body

      develop into a man’s body. Hormones cause lots of emotional changes. They

      also change the way girls and boys look at one another.

      In general, hormones