The Yoga of Relationships. Yogi Amrit Desai

      

      Other Books by Yogi Amrit Desai

      Kripalu Yoga: Meditation in Motion, Books I and II

      Working Miracles of Love

      Happiness is Now

      Amrit Yoga: Explore, Expand and Experience the Spiritual Depth of Yoga

      A Yogic Perspective on the 12 Steps

      Amrit Yoga and The Yoga Sutras

      Love & Bliss

      Books about Yogi Desai

      Ancient Wisdom, Modern Master

      The Yoga of Relationships © 2010, 2015 Yoga Network International, Inc.

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or

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      Network International, Inc.

      Paperback ISBN: 978-1-939681-43-0

      eISBN 9781939681454

      Library of Congress Control Number: 2010936066

      Red Elixir, an imprint of Monkfish Book Publishing Company

      22 East Market Street, Suite 304

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      www.monkfishpublishing.com

      Dedicated to Mataji

      Urmila Amritlal Desai

      July 29, 1937—July 31, 2006

      In all her roles—wife, mother, sister and friend—Mataji was a model of grace in action. Tireless in her devotion to our lineage, she faced the challenges of life with a self-awareness few can emulate but all can learn from. Being in relationship with Mataji was a blessing to anyone who had the privilege to know her.

      Table of Contents

      Other Books by Yogi Amrit Desai Title Page Copyright Page Dedication Foreword Introduction Chapter 1 - The Urge to Merge Chapter 2 - Masquerade of Love Chapter 3 - Love as an Addiction Chapter 4 - Expectation is Silent Reaction Chapter 5 - Loving without Holding Chapter 6 - Self-Awareness Chapter 7 - Clear Communication Chapter 8 - Gratitude Chapter 9 - Forgiveness Chapter 10 - Conscious Relationships that Work Chapter 11 - Love as Union Appendices Meditation on Healing Relationships Glossary About the Author

      Foreword

      by Lila Ivey, Editor

      So often in his discourses, Yogi Desai begins at the end—with his first statement summarizing the topic of his discourse—only to circle back to the beginning, weaving threads of the middle and end, leaving students with a puzzle that is both paradoxical and abundantly clear at the same time. His teachings and writings are circuitous, simultaneously imbued with mystery and startling in their clarity. It is as if he is giving us all the answers we would ever need, yet leaving us pondering what the question was in the first place. It is for us to figure out for ourselves—the proverbial peeling away of the onion’s layers. Once revealed, the insight he shares provides us with an enormous moment of “ah-ha!” In an instant, the resolution to longstanding issues is apparent. This preface will serve that same purpose—exposing the answer to life’s most perplexing dilemma right at the top:

      All relationships are based on the relationship we have with ourself, and ultimately, the Self.

      But how do we get there? Now that we have the end in sight, we must work backward to the beginning. Yogi Desai often says, “What you want in the end, you must have in the beginning.” In Sanskrit, this is your sankalpa, your resolve, your deepest intention for integration. Alignment with intention is the path to integration.

      Somehow we already know this, but putting it into practical use evades us at every turn. We know that everyone, regardless of culture, age or status, is searching for the same thing: love, peace and harmony. We long for that special someone, work that fulfills us, and children to adore. If the goal is so clear, why are we in conflict with everyone we care about and find ourselves shaking our heads at the mess we find ourselves in?

      Successful relationships are not hard work, but they do require attention, acceptance and awareness. Attainment of this goal is indeed possible once we get out of our own way. The secret of successful relationships is revealed in the pages of this book. It is all about remembering what we already know. It is the remembering that is the tricky part, and putting that consciousness into play when we need it.

      By necessity, this book is arranged in linear chapters. However, just as Patanjali’s Ashtanga Yoga is designed to be practiced simultaneously rather than step-by-step, the secret to relationships is that all the following teachings are practiced together in a unity of consciousness when we are in alignment with what we think, what we say, what we do, and how we feel.

      The inspiration for this book is derived from the first two limbs of Patanjali’s Eight-limbed Yoga—the Yamas and Niyamas. Although they are listed in two categories, they too are not linear but simultaneous practices.

Yamas—Observances	Niyamas—Disciplines
Ahimsa—non-violence	Saucha—purity
Satya—non-lying	Santosha—contentment
Asteya—non-stealing	Tapas—spiritual heat
Brahmacharya—moderation	Swadhyaya—self-study
Aparigraha—non-attachment	Ishvara Pranidhana—
surrender to the Divine

      For the reader’s reference, Yogi Desai’s complete commentary on each abstention and guideline is detailed on page 99 in the appendix.

      Observing the Yamas and Niyamas in our daily lives is a recipe for joy. Distilled by Yogi Desai’s piercing insight and the depth of understanding he received from his guru, Swami Kripalvanandji, these gems of wisdom shine as brilliant guideposts on the yogic path of relationships.

      Introduction

      Fifty years have passed since I first began teaching asanas in the U.S. and progressively