The School of life Love Series
Скачать книги из серии The School of life Love SeriesAffairs
A book that provides us with a greater understanding of why affairs happen and offers advice on dealing with the aftermath of an affair. A practical guide with useful takeaways for everyday life. Part of a thoughtful and inclusive new Love series from The School of Life, focusing on the sorrows and joys of relationships. Beautifully produced, premium gift format.
Arguments
An average couple will have between thirty and fifty significant arguments a year—and yet we’re seldom taught very much about why they happen and how they could grow a little less intense. This is a guide to arguments in love: it teaches us why they might occur, what their symptoms are, how we could learn some wiser ways of communicating, and how we would ideally patch up after a fight. The book looks at twenty of the most common arguments—including ones about sex, money, in-laws, who is «cold» and who is «over-emotional», and the state of the bathroom and the finances. We recognize our own antics but also pick up consoling and wise ideas on how to skirt certain conflicts going forward. The tragedy of every sorry argument is that it is constructed around a horrific mismatch between the message we so badly want to send («I need you to love me, know me, agree with me») and the manner in which we are able to deliver it (with impatient accusations, sulks, put-downs, sarcasm, exaggerated gesticulations, and forceful «f*** yous»). A bad argument is a failed endeavor to communicate; this is a definitive guide to how we might argue better. "The priority is not so much to avoid points of contention as to learn to handle them in less counterproductively vindictive and more gently strategic ways. We need a lot help in order to acquire the complex art of converting our poisonous arguments into effective and compassionate dialogues."
Dating
Dating might seem a trivial and relatively inconsequential part of love, but it is in fact key to getting into the kind of relationship that can last and help us flourish. The process we call dating sits on top of some of the largest themes of love: how to know whether or not someone is right for us; how soon to settle and how long to search; how to be at once honest and seductive; how to politely extricate oneself without causing offence. This little book is an indispensable guide to the dating process. It teaches us about the history of dating (and why the way we are dating now is so novel and so perplexing), the reason why our dating days can be so anxious, how we should discuss our past on a date, what questions we might ask a new partner, how to optimize our attempts at dating—and how to digest and overcome so-called «bad» dates. The book is at once heartfelt and perceptive and never minimizes the agony, joys, and confusions of our dating days and nights. It provides us with the ideal wise road map to the varied, sometimes delightful, sometimes daunting realities of dating. "It is so natural to want our dating days to come to an end: but we should never lose sight of the genuine merits and delights that lie closely entwined with their pains. We should continue to seek our life partner, while not ignoring the real pleasures that emerge from not yet having found them."
Heartbreak
Almost no one gets through life without, at some point, having their heart broken. Advice at such a dark moment tends to focus on letting time do the healing. But there is also a vital role for understanding and perspective. We sometimes make our situation far worse than it needs to be through certain ideas we develop about why we’ve been left. We start to tell ourselves that we are not good enough, that we fail at everything, that this one rejection means we will always be maltreated… Our thoughts make our sorrow a great deal more intense than it could be. This is a book to help us over heartbreak by offering us some context, some history, some psychology and a little philosophy. We learn about how our responses to abandonment are formed, what the best way to think about an ex might be and how to envisage future relationships when we are in despair. We come away gently cheered that we are not alone, consoled that our suffering will have an end—and intrigued by the endless and subtle sorrows and joys of relationships. "Everyone we admire, everyone we find interesting has had, or will have, their heart broken. Our heartbreak seems to cut us off from the rest of humanity; secretly it brings us closer together."