Gourd to Death. Kirsten Weiss

      

      Also by Kirsten Weiss

      Pies Before Guys

      Pie Hard

      Bleeding Tarts

      The Quiche and the Dead

      GOURD TO DEAT

      Kirsten Weiss

      KENSINGTON BOOKS

      KENSINGTON PUBLISHING CORP.

      www.kensingtonbooks.com

      All copyrighted material within is Attributor Protected.

      Table of Contents

      Also by Title Page Copyright Page Acknowledgements Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two Chapter Twenty-Three Chapter Twenty-Four Chapter Twenty-Five Chapter Twenty-Six Chapter Twenty-Seven Chapter Twenty-Eight Chapter Twenty-Nine Chapter Thirty Chapter Thirty-One Chapter Thirty-Two Chapter Thirty-Three VAL’S PUMPKIN BREAD Teaser chapter ABOUT THE AUTHOR

      KENSINGTON BOOKS are published by

      Kensington Publishing Corp.

      119 West 40th Street

      New York, NY 10018

      Copyright © 2020 by Kirsten Weiss

      This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales, or persons living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.

      To the extent that the image or images on the cover of this book depict a person or persons, such person or persons are merely models, and are not intended to portray any character or characters featured in the book.

      If you purchased this book without a cover you should be aware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the Publisher and neither the Author nor the Publisher has received any payment for this “stripped book.”

      Kensington and the K logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.

      ISBN: 978-1-4967-2355-0

      ISBN-13: 978-1-4967-2356-7 (eBook)

      ISBN-10: 1-4967-2356-2 (eBook)

      Thank you to Mandy Morton-Gregory

       for coming up with Gourd to Death as a title!

      Chapter One

      All it takes is one bad impulse.

      In my defense, I’d had a late night of sexy aliens and pitched battles. So my impulse control was low this morning.

      But.

      Going along to get it over with was still a bad impulse. I was ditching work on what could be the busiest day of the year. My staff needed me. Pie Town needed me.

      The thuds of hammers and clangs of metal on metal drifted through the predawn fog. It shrouded Main Street, hiding the workers setting up festival stalls.

      Yawning, I jammed my hands into the pockets of my winter-weight Pie or Die hoodie and hesitated guiltily in the doorway of my pie shop. The scent of baking pumpkin escaped Pie Town’s open door and wafted into the chill October air.

      “I can only take ten minutes,” I said through another jaw-cracking yawn. Pie Town was still a start-up, and I loved it like a helicopter mom. But I couldn’t ruin Charlene’s fun. “Then I need to get back to the prep work.”

      My elderly piecrust specialist, Charlene McCree, pulled the ends of her snowy hair from her jacket collar. “You work twelve-hour days, Val. No one’s going to hold it against you if you take a peek. You won’t get much chance when the festival’s in full swing. Relax.”

      In a blur of purple knit jacket, she surged past me and onto the brick sidewalk. We’d both been up until midnight watching a Stargate marathon, and it was now five A.M. Charlene claimed old people didn’t need much sleep. I felt like deep-fried death.

      “Last year,” she said, “the winning pumpkin was over two thousand pounds. This year’s would have been bigger if those arms dealers hadn’t chiseled in on the action.”

      Hiding a smile, I let Pie Town’s glass door swing shut behind us. Charlene might be the best piecrust maker on the NorCal coast, but I’d