I Dwell in Possibility. Toni McNaron

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      The Cross-Cultural Memoir Series introduces original, significant memoirs from women whose compelling histories map the sources of our differences: generations, national boundaries, race, ethnicity, class, ability, and sexual orientation. The series features stories of contemporary women’s lives, providing a record of social transformation, growth in consciousness, and the passionate commitment of individuals who make far-reaching change possible.

      THE CROSS-CULTURAL MEMOIR SERIES

       I Dwell in Possibility

      Toni McNaron

       Under the Rose: A Confession

      Flavia Alaya

       Come Out the Wilderness: Memoir of a Black Woman Artist

      Estella Conwill Májozo

       Life Prints: A Memoir of Healing and Discovery

      Mary Grimley Mason

       A Lifetime of Labor

      Alice H. Cook

       Juggling: A Memoir of Work, Family, and Feminism

      Jane S. Gould

       Among the White Moon Faces: An Asian-American Memoir of Homelands

      Shirley Geok-lin Lim

       Fault Lines

      Meena Alexander

       The Seasons: Death and Transfiguration

      Jo Sinclair

       Lion Woman’s Legacy: An Armenian-American Memoir

      Arlene Voski Avakian

      Published by the Feminist Press at the City University of New York

      The Graduate Center, Suite 5406, 365 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10016

       www.feministpress.org

      Copyright © 1992, Part IV 2001 by Toni McNaron

      Foreword copyright © 2001 by Louise DeSalvo

      All rights reserved. First edition 1992

      Second edition 2001

       Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

      McNaron, Toni A. H.

       I dwell in possibility: a memoir / by Toni McNaron; with a new foreword by Louise DeSalvo. Rev. and expanded ed., 2nd ed.

       p. cm. –(The cross-cultural memoir series)

       ISBN 978-1-55861-417-8

       1. McNaron, Toni A. H. 2. English teachers—United States—Biography. 3. University of Minnesota—Faculty—Biography. 4. Alcoholics—United States—Biography. 5. Feminists—United States—Biography. 6. Lesbians—United States—Biography. 7. Alabama—Social Conditions. 8. Racism—Alabama. I. Title. II. Series.

      PE64.M38 A3 2001

      976.1’781063’092—dc21

      [B]

      2001050127

      Epigraph on page vii reprinted by permission of the publishers and the Trustees of Amherst College from The Poems of Emily Dickinson, Ralph w. Franklin, ed., Cambridge, Mass.: The Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, Copyright © 1998 by the President and Fellows of Harvard College. Copyright © 1951, 1955, 1979 by the President and Fellows of Harvard College. Excerpt on page 299 from Circle on the Water by Marge Piercy, copyright © 1982 by Marge Piercy. Used by permission of Alfred A. Knopf, a division of Random House, Inc.

      Quotation on page 199 from Toni Morrison, “Memory, Creation, and Writing,” Thought 59, no. 235 (December 1984): 385, © Fordham University. Quotation on page 200 from Donald McQuade et al., eds., The Harper American Literature, vol. 1, 2d ed. (New York: HarperCollins, 1994): 122–23, © HarperCollins College Publications. Quotation on page 209 from Webster’s International Dictionary.

      This publication is made possible, in part, by public funds from the New York State Council on the Arts and the National Endowment for the Arts. The Feminist Press would also like to thank Janet E. Brown, Mariam K. Chamberlain, Johnnetta B. Cole, Florence Howe, Joanne Markell, and Genevieve Vaughan for their generous support.

      Text design by Paula Martinac

      Text composition by Dayna Navaro

      06 05 04 03 02 01 6 5 4 3 2 1

       To Theresa Louise Hurley and Erskine Lamar McNaron

       And to all the students who have enriched my life over so many years

      I dwell in Possibility —

      A fairer House than Prose —

      More numerous of Windows —

      Superior — for Doors —

      Of Chambers as the Cedars —

      Impregnable of Eye —

      And for an Everlasting Roof

      The Gambrels of the Sky —

      Of Visitors — the fairest —

      For Occupation — This —

      The spreading wide my narrow Hands —

      To gather Paradise —

       Emily Dickinson

       Contents

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgments

Part I

Out of the Nest

First Lessons

Child’s Play

My Mother, My Muse

       Part II

      Men Come and Go

      Into the Cauldron

      Awakenings

      Sure and Certain Knowledge

      Advanced Studies

      Alone

       Part III

      Finding Self, Finding Words

      Everyday Magic

       Part IV

      Memory Bridges

      On the Cusp

      Feminisms and Friendships

      Coming Full Circle

      Coda

       Foreword

       Making the Possible, Probable:

       A Long Overdue Thank-You to Toni McNaron

      July 11, 2001

      Dear Toni,

      This is the letter I should have written years ago when I first encountered your miraculous I Dwell in Possibility. At the time, I was reading as many