A Mother to Love. Gail Martin Gaymer

She’d love him to be out of the picture entirely. She seemed to do anything she could that might cause him to back away and give up, because she knew he didn’t want to put their dear daughter through the mess. He could never hurt Carly that way.

      “Daddy?”

      “What, angel?” Wisps of her soft burnished hair brushed his neck.

      “I had fun today. I like Angie ’cause she let me pick out the flowers for her garden, and when we got back she asked if we could go to the park, and you said yes. I loved the slide.” She put her hand over her mouth and chuckled. “Angie tried to do it, too, but she was too big for that little slide.”

      Though he chuckled with her, his chest constricted. “She is a nice lady.”

      Her head tilted upward, her grin marred by a growing frown. “Daddy?”

      “What, my girl?” He feared she would say what he suspected had been on her mind, but hoped he was wrong.

      “Why can’t Mom be like Angie? Mom doesn’t show me how to do anything, and if she wants me to do something, she hollers at me ’cause she’s too busy to teach me.”

      A vise bound his lungs. “Some people don’t have the same amount of patience as other people. I guess Angie has lots of it.”

      “Lots and lots.” Carly’s head bounced like a yo-yo. “We’ll see her tomorrow, but can we visit her again other times? She’s fun.”

      “I’m sure we can.” He ruffled her hair. “Now I think it’s time for one young lady that I love with all my heart to go to bed.”

      Her frown vanished, replaced by a grin. “That’s me, isn’t it?”

      “You know it is. You’re the only young lady I love with all my heart.”

      “I love you with all of my heart and fingers and toes.” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek before hopping down. “Good night, Daddy.”

      “Good night, sweetheart. I’ll be there in couple of minutes to tuck you in.”

      She walked backward toward the doorway. “I know. You always do.” She giggled and spun around.

      When she had vanished through the archway, Rick sat for a moment, catching his breath and willing his sadness to go into hiding. He hadn’t cried in years, but tonight, the desire was strong. Racked with frustration, he stared at his hands, hands that were tied by attorneys, courts and judges. But he’d win somehow. He just had to find the way.

      * * *

      Hot coffee sputtered from Angie’s mouth when the phone rang. She was careful with the first cup in the morning. It was always too hot, but the phone’s ring made her jump and slosh it. She swiped a paper napkin across her mouth and went in search of her cell phone. She grabbed it on the fourth ring. Her heart lurched when she saw Rick’s number in the window. “Hi. Is something wrong?”

      “Not from this end, but I think I woke you, didn’t I?”

      “No, I was in the kitchen with my first cup of coffee.” She glanced at the clock, surprised he’d called so early. “If nothing’s wrong, then what’s right?”

      He chuckled. “We’re getting ready to leave for church in about fifteen minutes, and I realized I should have suggested this earlier. It hit me a few minutes ago. I wondered if you might like to go to church with us. Now, I know that you said—”

      “Rick, that wouldn’t stop me from joining you, but I slept in today. I’m not dressed and haven’t had a bite to eat, so I’d better say no.” She sensed his disappointment. “But ask me again, okay?”

      “Sure. I knew this was a long shot. Carly really enjoyed her time with you, and I wanted you to know.”

      Her chest tightened as she pictured the child’s gleaming face as she’d helped select the garden flowers and enjoyed their outing at the park. “She’s delightful, Rick. I had fun, too. She brought back the girl in me. You saw me on the slide.”

      “She does good things for both of us.” Though he’d given a faint chuckle, his voice faded at the end of his sentence.

      She sensed something wasn’t quite right. “What’s up? I hear stress in your voice.”

      “You have good ears.” He paused a moment. “I was checking to make sure Carly’s out of earshot. I had four, maybe five, calls from her mother last night. She left voice mails on my landline. It threw me. I was so frustrated I couldn’t sleep.”

      He filled in the details, and her pulse skipped over the tension he’d dealt with not only last night but other times during his marriage. None of it was her business, and though she wanted to make things better for him, running down his former wife and Carly’s mother wouldn’t be kind or appropriate. “I’m so sorry, Rick. I know that you want the best for Carly, and I suppose her mother wants the same, but her way. Maybe someday you’ll get lucky...blessed to have a solution to undo the situation. Carly belongs with you.”

      “I pray, Angie.”

      She heard him breathe, but he didn’t speak. She waited, a helpless feeling growing in her chest.

      “I’d better go. We need to leave for church. Thanks for listening. I’m sorry to dump all this on you. Maybe you made a mistake being a good friend to—”

      “Hold on, Rick. Like the cliché says, what are friends for? You listened to me and volunteered to come to my aid with many things. You’ve gone above and beyond the call of a coworker, don’t you think?”

      “But that’s different. I enjoy your company, so it’s not a hardship for me.”

      It wasn’t a hardship for her, either. She’d never enjoyed a man’s company as much, not even Cal and his motorcycle pals. “Enjoying your company is mutual, especially since I adore your daughter.”

      Silence.

      Why had she been so direct? “Rick, I appreciate your kindness, too.”

      “I know. You just touched me with your comment about Carly. It’s wonderful to hear someone say they adore her.”

      “I’m hooked. You know the old hook, line and sinker? That’s me.”

      He chuckled. “To be honest, Carly had tons of fun. So if you have things we can do other weekends, let us know.”

      “I can always find work but even more, I would love fun days with Carly.”

      “I’d like that, too.”

      His voice had a zing to it that she hadn’t heard lately. “So would I.”

      “We’ll see you after church if you still want us.”

      “Want you? I’m counting on it.” Her heart smiled despite her sorrow for his situation.

      When they ended the call, she sank into the chair, eyed her coffee that was now cool enough to drink, but her stomach had knotted. Confused, she leaned back and searched her head for meaning. She had planned to stay uninvolved with men until she had a grip on her life and knew what she wanted from it. She’d failed already, and it troubled her. She had to keep a grip on her involvement, and even more, her emotions.

      She sipped the lukewarm coffee while her mind reeled. Rick had become a good friend, and though that was what he was now, she’d taken a big step by allowing his daughter to become involved in her life. She’d never planned to be involved with a child, and even if she married, she had always questioned being a mother. In the long haul, being a mother meant devotion and unbending love. She’d always loved her independence, and a mother didn’t have independence. She had responsibility and dependents.

      Yet, for the first time in her life, she wished she was a mother. She’d loved her time with Carly, yet she doubted it would last. But now she faced the truth. A child could bind a heart into a bundle and tie it with a big pink ribbon. Tearing