Child of Her Heart. Irene Brand

Omaha branch of the University of Nebraska is only a few miles from where I’ll be working. No problem—she’ll get her education.”

      Bryon had soon forgotten that promise, and because he had been determined to have her with him all of the time, she hadn’t argued about it. She couldn’t complain about his attention to her during their two years of marriage. He’d rented this luxurious apartment, where he often entertained business associates and their wives. He needed a hostess for those affairs, and Sonya couldn’t do that and go to college. At times Sonya had marveled at the ease with which she’d given up her dreams of graduation and becoming a social worker simply because Bryon had asked her to do so. Actually, Sonya had been extremely flattered that Bryon had loved her so much he hadn’t wanted her out of his sight, but in light of Bryon’s behavior the past few weeks, she had occasionally wondered if Bryon really loved her that intensely, or had he been selfishly thinking of himself, always wanting her at his beck and call. Whenever these thoughts occurred, Sonya had felt guilty and unfaithful. Of course Bryon loved her! He was an ideal husband.

      In his position as vice president of a brokerage firm, Bryon traveled frequently, and he wanted Sonya to travel with him. How could she have been so fortunate—a country girl from Ohio having an opportunity to travel to so many large cities and resort areas? They had lived a perfect honeymoon existence until that afternoon in early August when she had come home from the doctor.

      She was sure of her pregnancy even before she had consulted the obstetrician, but she hadn’t told Bryon about it. She suspected he might be displeased, but she hadn’t anticipated the depth of his wrath.

      He’d been dressing for a dinner party when she’d scurried into the apartment In her excitement, she had forgotten about the engagement.

      “I thought you weren’t going to make it. You have only thirty minutes to dress. Where have you been?” He was buttoning his white shirt and poring over his tie selection on the closet door.

      Sonya laid aside her purse. “I’ll shower quickly and dress.” It was a relief to put off telling him.

      Before she entered the bathroom, Bryon repeated, “Where have you been?”

      “To the doctor.”

      His hands stopped in the midst of fashioning his tie, and he turned quickly.

      “Are you sick?”

      Sonya was gladdened by the concern in his voice. Bryon had never talked much about his childhood, but once he had mentioned that when he was in elementary school, his mother had been sick, and he’d been sent away to live with his grandmother for two years. “That was the saddest time of my life,” he had said. Perhaps he was afraid if she became ill, he would be abandoned again, but surely that wasn’t a normal reaction for an adult

      “Are you sick?” he repeated.

      Sonya couldn’t control the smile that spread across her face. “No…I’m pregnant.”

      Abject silence followed her statement. The anger spreading across Bryon’s face took away any desire to talk that Sonya might have had, and Bryon looked as if he had been struck speechless. When he found his voice, Sonya cringed with fear.

      “Pregnant,” he shouted, and Sonya feared Leta would hear him. “Why have you done this? I told you to take care of that sort of thing before we married. Why did you allow this to happen? You know I don’t like kids.”

      And why didn’t he? He ignored the children of their friends so much that she was often embarrassed by him.

      “I’ve used the same type of birth control since we were married, but any doctor will tell you that no method is completely safe,” Sonya said, hastening to defend herself.

      “Well, you march yourself right back to that doctor in the morning and have him do something about it.”

      “What do you mean?” Sonya asked, and she sat down on the water bed to still her trembling legs, but the sway of the mattress made her dizzy.

      “I’ve told you I don’t want kids. Get rid of it”

      “You don’t mean an abortion?” Sonya cried.

      “Certainly. That’s no problem anymore.”

      Sonya’s shock turned to anger. “Forget that, Bryon Dixon,” she said. “You’re as much responsible for this child as I am. You’ll have to learn to like it.” She went to Bryon and put her arms around him, speaking more tenderly. “You might not like kids now, but your own child will be different It might be fun to have a baby.”

      He jerked away from her. “Babies stink. They cry. They vomit on you. This apartment would be crowded with toys, a crib and dozens of other things. How can I entertain my friends with a baby here?”

      “The Shraders have children, and they give delightful parties.”

      He looked at her appraisingly. “But think how you’ll look. Your beauty will be ruined forever. I want a wife to keep me company, not one who sits home breeding.”

      Surely he didn’t consider her a possession, like the trophies he so proudly displayed on the living room mantel. Sonya’s pulse raced, and her head throbbed. Bryon couldn’t be saying these things!

      He gave his tie a final jerk and bolted out the door without waiting for her.

      He hadn’t come home until early morning. It was the first night they had spent apart since their marriage, but certainly not the last one as she soon found out.

      Trying to rid her mind of the incident, Sonya laid aside the letter and picked up the evening newspaper. But she could barely skim the headlines because her mind continued to think about Bryon. His behavior during the past weeks had changed completely from their first two years of marriage. He had never before spent long evenings away from home or gone on business trips without her. Now, if he entertained his friends, he did so somewhere else rather than at the apartment. He never mentioned her pregnancy. How could the mere mention of a child cause a man to change so much?

      Sonya had ignored his changed attitude. When he was home, she prepared his meals. She looked after his personal needs as she always had. She hadn’t nagged at his long absences. When they talked, she acted as if their relations were normal, even after he started sleeping in the guest bedroom.

      Sonya privately nursed her hurt, fully believing that when the baby arrived, Bryon would be happy about it And even with his letter, she still couldn’t believe that he would actually leave her. They had shared such a beautiful love. How could he change so quickly?

      If it had been true love, he wouldn’t have changed, her conscience needled.

      Sonya didn’t go to bed until after midnight as she tensely awaited a telephone call and listened for the sound of his key in the apartment door. Then she felt his arms around her, and they shared the bliss that she’d missed so much. She gave a glad cry, which awakened her, and she sobbed when she realized that he hadn’t come home—she had been dreaming.

      As she struggled out of bed the next morning, she shuddered when she looked in the mirror.

      “No wonder he left me,” she moaned.

      The combined effect of morning sickness and Bryon’s rejection had caused her to lose weight. As yet, she didn’t outwardly show her pregnancy, but she was only a shadow of the beauty queen that Bryon had pursued. She hadn’t slept well for weeks, and the black circles under her eyes made her appear old and haggard. Even her hair looked listless and drab.

      While she sat on the side of the bed waiting for her nausea to lessen, she felt a slight movement in her womb, the first outward sign she’d had that a new life grew within her. She pressed her hand to her stomach. It had been so fleeting, just a fluttery feeling, really. For a moment she thought she’d only imagined it. But no, it had been real. A real baby lived and grew inside her now. The idea was almost overwhelming.

      I can’t do much about the weight loss, Sonya thought as she examined her image in the bathroom mirror,