Marriage & Relationships. Mamdooh Al-Radadi

ofcourse.

      Don’t you notice I didn’t mention anything like: Understands, can adapt, is ready, respects women, children, eldrely, can think, is self reliant and so forth? Those are just accessories you see ;).

      What makes a perfect wife?

      Now what about that perfect wife in the eyes of the mother in law and her son? or simply what a man usually starts looking for? well to round it off here’s a good list to check off as if on some supermarket list.

      1 A very young girl ( virgin, not oil! the other original kind )

      2 A great girl.

      3 A sweet person.

      4 Has had no previous relationships.

      5 Is an angel but can be naughty later on.

      6 Comes from a great family.

      7 Is absolutely drop dead beautiful, or at least prettier than the rest of the family.

      8 Is smart but does not and will never object to her husbands demands and mother in law.

      9 Has no issues.

      10 Is not a complainer.

      11 Will accept any standard of living, even if she’s a billionaires daughter.

      12 Is well educated, not that it guarantees her her husband will grant her the freedom to work.

      13 Makes good cupcakes, so she can start a home business.

      14 Will put her husband ahead of her father at all costs.

      15 Loves to travel and can handle economy class.

      16 Can handle her home without a maid or driver at least for the first three years of marriage (if it lasts that long).

      17 Is sociable and has a large social network but only goes to a few friends, preferably none.

      18 Can keep her husbands eyes off all beautiful women even while travelling to exotic destinations.

      19 Has been around life, but never talked to a guy.

      20 Has real hair, no extensions and a real body..if you know what I mean.

      21 Should never get fat even if her husband is entering the elephant bikini contest, besides its not how he looks its his deep pockets!

      I could go on forver here, but let’s pretend I did but I don’t.

      Dear society..

      You got it all wrong! may I suggest a look at your statistics and tell me why your divorce rates are skyrocketing? in 2011 the rate stood at 20+% and rising.

      Well before we jump into the what to avoid part to make it safer and more manageable, lets first ask ourselves do we have happily married people?

      The answer is yes of course! All around the world actually. What’s their secret recipe or sauce?

      A perfect marriage is more like a couple who are actually dating or in love. These people have two separate personalities, likes and dislikes, up and down moments, ideas and dreams, they know how to share, they help one another, they cherish what they have, they take a bit of time off to make up for it massively.

      And then there’s so much more that goes into the equation.

      There is one major or powerful question one should ask herself or himself before they look for it: Are you ready for marriage? really ready? ready to give up a previous way of life that you got so accustomed to? ready to be there, even if you don’t feel like it? ready to sacrifice, and then some more?

       Are you ready for real love?

      The problem is we know we anticipate and wait for it, but the readiness factor is so much more important than anything else before you start your quest in search of the perfect partner.

      You can have everything in place, everything perfectly custom tailored to your taste and needs, but without being ready to take it on, there is no way it will survive, let alone take off.

      Marriage is like a rocket heading for space. You need to know your goal, you need to have everything that you could manage ready and in place, then wait for the right weather and time, and count down: 5,4,3,2,1 Houston, We have blast off! Not a problem.

      A rocket needs so much thrust to take off and make it through the earth’s atmosphere, and once it breaks through, once the stress levels have peaked, once everyone starts to catch their breath, the rocket slows down and the astronauts look outside and see our big blue planet!

      That trip, that destination, that view: Priceless.

      Nothing happens without effort. Anyone that tries to convince you with anything else is a big fat liar and a phony.

       A couple more questions before we move on:

      Do you really know yourself well?

      Do you know what you’re looking for?

       Did society affect your decision for marriage?

      Here you have to be very honest and look deep within you to get the truth out. This rarely happens in a western society due to different lifestyle and religion. Here (Arab world) it’s a fact that stares us in the eye.

      Wether you admit it or not that society can affect your decisions, I have to say it’s a powerful force that can destroy the best of plans. Have your family already decided for you? Have your peer group imposed a certain level or design? Have your friends been talking to you about it, only because you’re the only one left single?

      What about you? Have you come to the marriage conclusion based upon your own ideas, beliefs and needs? Have you actually given the idea thought? Have you looked at the situation from all angles? Are you sure you want it and want to move on?

       Never let someone other than you decide for you, or affect your decisions, beware who’s advice you take. There is no use taking advice from someone who hates her married life, hates her single life too! Before you ask, know who to ask.

      After that, have your own opinion.