The Bright Way. Diana Rowan

heard the phrase “everything is interconnected.” What does this actually mean? Sacred Reciprocity is an elegant way to grasp and act on the aim of honored interconnection in everyday life. The famous Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” echoes the tenets of Sacred Reciprocity. The more you look, the more you’ll find messages pointing you toward Sacred Reciprocity, hidden in plain sight. Let’s look more closely.

      We discussed the miraculous power of creativity to reconnect the creator with herself and the world at large. But do all connections lead to life affirmation? What about connections that are toxic? According to Sacred Reciprocity, these are not true connections. Instead they are one-way drains. Sacred Reciprocity is the most reliable tool I know of to assess whether you are in healthy connection.

      Sacred Reciprocity is nonjudgmental and clear. It offers this simple yardstick. Ask yourself, Am I choosing love or fear? When we are in Sacred Reciprocity we make decisions from a place of love and enthusiasm. And marvelously, an equal balance of love and enthusiasm will return to us in the big picture.

      The scope of Sacred Reciprocity, also known as right relationship, allows it to deal in multiple currencies. That is, time and money are not the only ways to get in balance with our creative work — or anything else, for that matter.

      For example, if you volunteer at a hospice center, your work benefits the patients, staff, and visitors. You benefit from the love you receive and the opportunity to practice your skill in a low-pressure environment, to name just a few of the possible gifts you receive in turn. Your volunteer work, then, satisfies a core tenet of Sacred Reciprocity, that the exchange be equally valuable to all participants. Only you can determine what equal exchange is for you. We’ll learn more about this when we discuss the practice of honoring your direct experience.

       The scope of Sacred Reciprocity allows it to deal in multiple currencies.

      If you have a job you hate, one that drains your soul, no amount of money will make up for this. Why? Because you’re giving away too much of yourself to be in a healthy balance. Further, you’re operating from a place of fear (“What will happen if I give up this soul-crushing job and the steady paycheck that comes with it?”), fear being an additional drain.

      There are many permutations of how energy comes into balance. Sacred Reciprocity gives voice to these many dimensions, freeing you up to honor what makes sense for your life both right now and in the long term.

      Wisdom traditions of the world have many ways of describing what happens when Sacred Reciprocity is not respected. The original Greek and Hebrew Biblical words for “sin” are amartano and chata, respectively, which also translate as “missing the mark.” In other words, true connection has not been made, and where there is no connection, there is no love. In Hinduism the concept of karma explains how the quality of connection we make leads to either positive or negative outcomes in life. Buddhism takes this perspective: “Every action, good or bad, has an inevitable and automatic effect in a long chain of causes.” Pagan spirituality’s law of return states that what you put out into the world returns to you threefold — emotionally, physically, and spiritually — recognizing many dimensions, Sacred Reciprocity style.

      Finally, you don’t have to have a spiritual outlook to live in Sacred Reciprocity: “Humanists believe that this is the only life of which we have certain knowledge and that we owe it to ourselves and others to make it the best life possible for ourselves and all with whom we share this fragile planet.” Sacred Reciprocity applies everywhere, a clear guide for our complex times.

       BRIGHT WAY ACTIVITY

       Sacred Reciprocity

      Take a moment to consider how Sacred Reciprocity plays into your life right now. As we walk this path together, you’ll learn more about this overarching life philosophy; for now, let’s start with a brief environmental assessment.

      Think about the three people who are closest to you. Are you in Sacred Reciprocity with one another? If so, your relationships will feel healthy and strong on the whole. (It’s good to remember, though, that perfection isn’t part of Sacred Reciprocity, as relationships are always changing and rebalancing.) If your relationships don’t feel healthy, what currencies might bring these relationships into balance for all parties? Using the Five Love Languages from Gary Chapman’s book by the same name can be a fun place to start: Do you need to add more words of affirmation to the relationship? How about quality time, physical touch, acts of service, or gifts?

      Sacred Reciprocity honors what is sacred to the relationship as a complete ecosystem; so discern which currencies have value in your particular ecosystem. Honor what has value for you.

       Sacred Reciprocity: Collaboration, Not Competition

      By its very nature, Sacred Reciprocity fosters a spirit of collaboration rather than competition. We spoke earlier about how connection drives human creativity. This book is an example of collaboration across time and space. When I review all the energies that have come together to make this book possible, it’s clear that very little would have happened if a stance of competition had prevailed. So how can we invite more collaboration into our lives?

      For many, the workplace is the venue of most competition and strife. If you’ve been struggling to feel more fulfilled and creative in your job, how can you apply Sacred Reciprocity so that connection is restored? How can you be in greater Sacred Reciprocity with your coworkers, your customers, and your vendors?

      Take this stance: create win-win situations. When you negotiate, try to understand what the other side wants and what has meaning for them. Ultimately, what currency has value to them? Acknowledge and try to meet those needs within Sacred Reciprocity, remembering that for balance to be attained, you must benefit, too. So when you draw up a contract, spell out the benefits to both sides. When you write an email, be sure to start with a pleasant acknowledgment so that you’re giving as well as taking or requesting.

       BRIGHT WAY ACTIVITY

       One Small Act of Kindness

      It’s true that we live in a competitive society, so sometimes it’s up to us as individuals to go against the grain and get collaborative energy flowing. Today, try one of these techniques: give a stranger a smile, say thank you with meaning, make eye contact. What other small act of kindness can you perform to show people that we’re all in this together?

      Go big picture. Look beyond the surface and give something that has genuine meaning for you, no matter how tiny it may seem to the outside world. It could be as small as making someone a cup of tea. Step aside from linear time: Sacred Reciprocity isn’t impatiently transactional, and it can be rebalanced at any time. You have much to offer this world besides money and time, both of which can be in short supply on occasion.

      Besides showing you what you genuinely value, Sacred Reciprocity also highlights the many valuable energies you possess inside. Examples could be your compassion and enthusiasm, both of which have the power to turn around someone else’s day when you share them. Take a moment to turn the kindness toward yourself, and acknowledge the beautiful qualities you possess inside.

      Sacred Reciprocity even applies to things we might consider inanimate. For example, how do you approach:

      •Your musical instrument / tools of your art? Do you embrace them as respected allies, or do you grab them as objects to do your bidding? Meet your instrument in a spirit of Sacred Reciprocity, and whole new dimensions of artistry, support, and motivation will open up to you.

      •Food and cooking? That’s always a challenge for me until I acknowledge where all my precious ingredients came from. I think of the people, places, and elements that came together to make this moment and this dish possible. Magically, when I remember these sources in this way, I’m able to connect from a place