The Ayurvedic Guide to Fertility. Heather Grzych

      Pathologies are created energetically and physically when there are imbalances of giving, receiving, and grasping. Conception becomes blocked, elusive, or rejected when such pathologies are present. The balance point between receiving and giving is where you find the fertile ground for conception to take place.

      How You Treat Your Body Matters

      Physically, issues of under- or overnourishment of certain reproductive tissues will interfere with conception, so your diet and metabolism affect fertility. Some women are so undernourished that they don’t have any energy for their menstrual cycle, and others are so overnourished (or wrongly nourished) that toxins and blockages begin to interfere with their normal metabolic processes, throwing off hormones and monthly cycles. Therefore, it is extremely important to get your diet and lifestyle equalized prior to trying to have a child. Some women benefit from cleansing and fasting to remove toxins and blockages, while others need more rejuvenation. Everyone, though, benefits by understanding their body type.

      You want to take very good care of your body, internally and externally, especially if you wait until you are on the older end of the fertility spectrum. Older women generally pump out fewer follicles each month than younger women, and their bodies are often less moist and pliable. They typically do not get pregnant as easily and are more likely to have a C-section. You also need to take better care of your body if you’ve had any health issues that interfere with your general health or menstrual cycles.

      Regardless of your age and health condition, having vigor and the ability to recover quickly is helpful, because being pregnant, giving birth, and nursing a small baby are all paradigm-shifting events for a body that can cause sleep deprivation, depletion, depression, and a whole host of not-so-fun things that you never hear about until you have a child. This is why it’s important for you to focus on your own health before you get pregnant. It will make everything easier before, during, and after pregnancy.

      Fertility through the Ages

      Shortly after I had my own child at age thirty-nine, I was watching a group of young mothers on blankets at the beach with their little babies. They were energized, throwing their babies around, laughing, chatting, and smiling — all of them. Not one of the mothers looked the way I felt, which was completely zapped. I longingly mumbled under my breath, “They are so young.” I envied their energy and resilience. At the same time, when I heard the bubbly, twentysomething naivete of their conversations, I suddenly was happy I was bringing a child into the world with more years on me. There are pros and cons at every age. However, when it comes to fertility, the condition of the body is more important than what the mind says about anything, because the body always wins.

      There are clear stages of biological life for a woman, beginning with infancy; going through childhood, puberty, adulthood, and perimenopause; and beyond menopause. The stages do not fall on exactly the same years for all women, because women have different birth constitutions and age at different rates for various reasons, but the general pathway is the same. The first part of life is a time for building the body, the middle is for maintenance, and the body breaks down more in the final phase of life.

       Figure 1: The life stages of a woman

      There are different strengths, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities in each of life’s phases. When it comes to deciding when to have a child, every woman has to find her own sweet spot based on her own constitution, how she lives her life, her intimate relationships, and the sort of support she has around her, although I would argue that the current trend of women having children later and later may be socially and financially beneficial but generally is not biologically beneficial. The body is more resilient when it is younger, which is very handy when having a kid because gestating, birthing, breastfeeding, and lugging around a toddler can be seriously physically challenging athletic endeavors. It’s also easier to deal with sleep deprivation when you are younger, and new parents inevitably become wickedly sleep challenged for a few months and even a few years.

       It All Starts in the Teenage Years

      When we look at a child or even a teenager, it can feel a little weird to think of that individual as a sexual creature, but the reality is that most girls and boys hit puberty when they are still children — many even before they are teenagers. Not only that, but most females become sexually active in their teenage years. Only 17 percent of women are still virgins into their nineteenth year. Assuming you are an adult woman now, the defining relationship with your reproductive system started a very long time ago.

      The early years after puberty, typically the teens, are not an optimal time for a young woman to have a child. A woman’s body is still developing, essentially practicing its menstrual cycles and continuing its way through the awkward years following onset of puberty. Add to this any moral considerations, plus the fact that she is still legally a minor until she is eighteen and is typically financially and socially dependent on her parents during these years, and it makes it especially challenging for a teenage girl to deal with her own sex drive and developing intimate relationships when, inside, so much is changing for her. At the end of the day, if a female is ovulating, then she could possibly become pregnant, so this is indeed a tricky time of life!

      The teenager of the modern society is more than likely going to wait until her twenties, thirties, or forties before she has a child. However, the teenage years are an important time, because how she handles her sexual urge and manages her menstrual cycle and reproductive functioning in this stage of life will influence her sexuality and overall health for years to come.

      In these next sections, we’ll break down the phases of the fertile era — from young women to mature women, terms used loosely because women are aging at different rates due to differences in constitution, lifestyle, and environmental factors.

       Young, Fertile Women

      A healthy twentysomething’s body is robust and juicy. She is in her physical prime, an ideal time to have a child. Her body is already mature enough to conceive, gestate, birth, and breastfeed a baby. Children are very juicy, and a young woman carries this juiciness with her into her womanhood. A woman’s ability to heal and rejuvenate after a physical trauma (which is often what giving birth is!) is typically stronger at this time of life.

      The earth and water elements are plentiful when women are young, and these become magnified as the fire element starts to increase in puberty. The increasing fire element gives a woman greater intensity and influence over her environment. She has only to choose where this energy goes.

      Young women are increasingly delaying having children until they are in their thirties and even their forties. As of 2012, less than 50 percent of women had a child by the end of their twenties, and these numbers are still decreasing today. Many women are placing the rest of life in front of having a child, especially if they are educated. These women are also delaying marriage more and more. Many women have a feeling that there are things they want to do before they become a mother. This creates a paradox for a young woman because while her body may be completely ready to have a child, her mind and oftentimes her support network are not. Depending on her culture and specific life history, she may not feel ready to have a child yet. However, if she does have a child, then she’s doing it at the generally best time biologically.

      Despite increasingly not wanting to have kids until later, young women are often sexually active and using some form of birth control. In my practice in the San Francisco Bay Area, where I’ve worked with hundreds of people, I have had only one twentysomething client who was abstinent by choice, and she did so for religious and spiritual reasons. But regardless of her reason, I observed that she was one of the most aligned individuals I’d come across in my years working with clients. She knew she didn’t want to get pregnant — and so she just didn’t have sex. She was old enough. She was mature enough. She was even living with her fiancé. However, she planned to remain abstinent until they got married. I remember thinking: Wow, that must be hard to do! In a sexually liberal city like San Francisco, you don’t meet many people who are abstinent by choice! I noticed she was also very diligent about her eating