Successful Networking in 7 simple steps. Clare Dignall

talk about the people that are ‘closest’ to us, we usually include family and long-standing friends in that list. They are the people who have known us the longest, we spend most time with, and in most instances, have partially ‘created’ the person that we are now through long years of parenting, peer interaction, schooling and socializing. We unquestioningly assume they are on our side. But are they? Time to ask yourself a tough question: ‘Am I still happy with how much my family and friends influence me?’ Perhaps you seek the approval of parents or friends a little too much? Are your peers suspicious of success? Are you staying in a job you don’t want because you feel that’s what’s expected of you? If your aim to is to change the way your life looks, you may have to work out whether there are any people, very close to you, that are limiting you.

       Who would I turn to in a crisis?

      It’s likely that asking yourself the first question will have revealed some unsettling home truths. By asking just one more tough question, you will find out who your real friends are. Imagine yourself in an awful situation. You’ve lost your job, your business is failing, or you’re going through a gruelling period of stress at work. Who, in reality, would you turn to? Without analysing too much, quickly write down a list of the people you would turn to first for advice and help. You may be surprised by what you see. If some of the entries on that list are people that you would never have counted as strong ties – are not family, and whom you see rarely, it may be time to sort that out. These people are clearly important to you on many levels: make it a priority to invest some time in them now. If you ever are to be faced with that worst-case scenario, you want them wholly on your side.

      By asking two simple questions, you are likely to have a much clearer idea about who you want ‘on your team’. Some people are just plain good for us – they are supportive, trustworthy, positive and inspiring – in their company we aspire to greater things. Some people are not so good for us and can seriously limit what we can achieve. The trick is identifying who is who, and we’ll find out more later.

      

      A big reason for many people beginning to network seriously is that they want ‘change’. Well, you can start the process of change, and build your confidence too, just from the people you already know.

       Build bridges to other networks

      One very simple way to give your network’s breadth an immediate boost is to hold your own event. Make it an ‘open house’ and ask your friends to bring a few of their friends. This is a simple way to stretch the edges of your network and open pathways to new ones. Be attentive to the new faces amongst your guests – they will remember a good listener and may end up being valuable contacts or friends.

       Surround yourself with those that bring out your best

      Ever noticed that you always look better in photos taken with your best friends? It doesn’t apply to just our looks; people that are ‘good’ for us bring out the best in us – our best work, ideas and attitude. If you want positive change, start spending most time with the people in your network that make you feel good. This simple tactic can have a positive effect on your outlook and self-confidence.

      

      So, you are mining all the value of your existing network by rediscovering the people in it and making new mutual acquaintances. Now add some new faces by breaking out of your existing network entirely. But how?

       Visit your library: Your local library holds information on business and social events in your area, and many of these will be free.

       Business support organizations: Organizations like Business Link in England and Business Gateway in Scotland offer free and impartial advice to people in business or starting their own. Many run free workshops so you can learn new skills and meet like-minded people at the same time.

       Research online: Type in the keywords of your field of interest or business and search for upcoming events. You’ll soon find something within feasible travelling distance that suits your budget.

       Night classes and courses: If you are planning to change careers or are coming back to work you may need to acquire a new set of skills. Short courses refresh your CV and your network too.

       Volunteering: Want to learn new skills, meet new people and on a tight budget? Find your nearest volunteering centre and ask them about opportunities.

      

      It’s generally believed that a person can only sustain around 150 meaningful social relationships; all those people you see on Facebook with 350+ friends don’t really have 350 lifelong buddies; they’ll have a few, the rest are acquaintances.

      Ensure that your growing network has ‘balance’ too. Is it made up of both strong ties (people you can rely on) and weak ties (acquaintances who may present an opportunity in the future)? If one group dominates, then it may be time to redress the balance. Reid Hoffman, Co-Founder and Chairman of LinkedIn^®, makes a helpful analogy to explain this process of finding ‘balance’: you have one memory card for your digital camera on a six-month trip. Because the capacity is finite, you must choose whether you want to store a few great photos at hi-res, store hundreds at lo-res, or a mixture of both. So it is with your network – you cannot maintain all your relationships at ‘hi-res’, but a huge, ‘lo-res’ network will not provide you with the support you need when times are hard. You need a mixture of both: strong ties to help and guide you on your career journey, and weak ties to refresh your network, provide new information and offer opportunities.

      

      You may not yet be convinced by the idea of networking. Many people still have a suspicion of networking, associating it with dishonesty and aggressive deal-making. For some misguided souls, that’s what networking is: only coming out of the office when you need something, working the event to get the introduction you want, or squeezing your new contact till you get the deal you want. Effective in the short term, but you’ll make no lasting relationships.

      Contemporary approaches to networking turn this short-sighted tactic on its head. It’s all about building lasting relationships first, and, crucially, offering upfront value to your new contact in the hope that someday you may reap reward in return. This kind of networker (‘go-givers’ in networking terminology) will meet new people and attempt to see the world from their eyes, listening to their needs and aspirations. He or she will then consider whether they might be of help to the other person to fulfil those needs. Could they introduce someone useful? Do they have some information they could share? This ‘help’ just has to be timely, appropriate, and of value to the other. Establishing relationships on these grounds will gain you lifelong allies.

      

      Now let’s check that we are ‘event-ready’ from an entirely practical perspective. You may have the best attitude in the world but to be a successful networker you will also have to prepare in other ways: what do you need to take with you? Do you need a business card? Do you really need to finish your website before you tell people about it? What practical preparations do we need to make to network at events effectively? In the coming pages we consider some useful practical preparations.